Dedicated To.. [You Know who You aRE..!!~]

wake up and Figure out something..
don't let thing hanging just like that..
stop playing around.. you're not a teenager anymore..
you may not realized that someone is hurt because of u..
don't act like nothing goes wrong..
that's not good dear..
don't simply take everything as easy as ur abnormal life..
wake up and be normal...
people smiling at u doesn't meant they like u...
people laughing with u doesn't meant that they're laughing inside too..
they just wanna you to be happy..
don't just think of ur own self...
think of other people too..
wake up and try to change...!!~


p/s: May all The HappineSS be WiTh You...

aRggGGggGHHHHH !!~

this is what happen when u have to do someone else work..
delay..delay... delay..
sangat x ikhlas..
and it'll end up by paying someone else to finish it up for u..hahaha




sorry areteam.. terpaksa susahkan ko.. aku sangat..sangat xde mood nak buat data entry ni..hehe
i'll pay u later ya..huhu

wasn't born to be a cook.!!~

i'm not a good homemaker..

i can't cook..
i can't clean up the house..
i can't even fold the clothes neatly..
i can't even manage myself..
how can i be a good homemaker?

*****************************************

it's been a week me and mom wasn't at home..
nothing much in the fridge to be cook..
it took a while before i decide to actually cook..
no fresh vegetable .. no meat or anything else other than couple of fishes..
it remind me how i survive in campus..
illegally bring my rice cooker, me and my friend cook lots of meal..
we cook tom yum.. mushroom soup... fried rice.. cekodok.. porridge..
we even cook mee hun soup with that rice cooker..

pengalaman... pengalaman....
rendu pulak kt ukm.. kt chermai college...
being a student surely teach me lot's of thing..

Kentang goreng.. sangat senang di masak with rice cooker..
in fact we don't need fridge to keep the potato isn't it? huhu

dip it with mayonaise or chili sauce.. nyum nyum..

so LittLe Time so MucH To Do...!!!~

I have Lot's of work to be done..
as usual.. i'm delaying my work... haha
i'm always like that...
whenever i got lots of works to be done.. i'm delaying...
what's the exact word huh?? Procrastinating??
whatever..
instead of finishing my works.. i'm blogging?? hahaha..

a day before my lips turn scary..huhu

playing with photoscapes

BaD mouth???

some people have allergy of their own...
some people allergy to shrimp paste..
some people allergy to dust..
some people allergy to sea food..
some people allergy to fruit..etc..
me?? i'm allergy to anything with shrimp paste...dust and this fruit called kuini..

my face get itchy whenever i ate anything with shrimp paste or whenever i'm in a space with lots of dust..

i get itchy lips whenever i ate kuini... and it's not just itchy.. it become like this....

scary huh??

but it wasn't caused by a kuini..i just knew it..... i keep thinking what did i eat that cause all this... but i found nothing... i didn't eat kuini lately... hurm... was it because that turkish candy my aunt gave to me? i don't know.. but i hate this... it's hurt.. and it's ugly to have that weird thing on ur lips... adoi lah....

this is my lip condition 3 days ago..

it's getting worse day by day... sakit oOo.. bila nak kering luka ni??!!~ arGhhhH

a Pack weeK - eNd??!!~

iT's a schooL holiDay.. everyone knew that.. what else can I do other than thinking hard where should i go spending my on.. (like i have much..huh)

since i didn't follow my mom to Bukit Tinggi.. I decided to drive mY abby to aMpang lpak2 with akak, my cousin.. furthermore i already promised my long time buddy Kamarul 'sLam' shahir & zaYana Zahira to hang out with them.. ask pacat, my '7 years younger than me' cousin to accompany me.. paid her a sum of money since she had to close her ABC stall for several days..she insist to drive her car.. i was like.."oh sure!!~" (driving her car mean i don't need to drive at all... YeaY!!~... i don't drive 'auto' maa).. though i know i have to double up the expenses by bringing pacat but still.. i don't have to drive..hahahaha...

Left Muar around 6-7 pm, on tuesday then arrived at ampang 2 and a half hour later.. 'Laju'?? hell yeah... but not as 'laju' as my abby performance (on the highway lah i meant...huhu).. don't go anywhere that nite since it's nite already..

The next day we went to sunway Piramid to done some window shopping and meet CT Tito,my buddy since matriculation.. but she didn't show up due to some miscommunication..hahaha... i need a new pair of shoe for outing.. decided to buy another sckechers or crocs lor but guess what?? i didn't know why it's hard to find size 7 for this 2 Label.. (normally i'm the easiest one to get suitable size for my feet..).. oh .. it's not hard to get maa.. it's "size 7 da habis.." then i ask for another design. it goes "pun da abis" the same answer i get to all design i choose.. i even ask for the ugliest design and still i get "size 8 ada lah.."... wTF... is not happening at sunway branch only maa... i get the same answer for Mid Valley outlet... huh.. told my cousin "aku rasa crocs n sckechers da x buat lah size 7"...wakakakka... I end up with no shoes in my shopping bag maa... Luckily i bought a pair of Dr Cardin sandal since my mom wear my old skechers to Bukit Tinggi before.. Looking for converse saja lah after this... (-_-'). shoes are out from the shopping list.. i need to find a wallet to replace the current one.. and i found what my eyes lurve to see... an army green united colours of benetton with genuine leather.. (i know.. it's not guess..mng or anything expensive lor..but still i can save half the price of a rm400 wallet by choosing this one...erk.. before less lor..huhu)

thanx goodness i met cik Na at mid valley utk lupakan seketika my frustration..mwahahaha... cik na looks like sheila rusly lah lately.. why ah? is it because she's a wartawan hiburan who full with gossip?? hahaha... promise cik na i'll buy her lunch but i'm too late to pay for her veggie..sorry cik na (sorry juga for didn't have the chnce to bring my abah 'satay goreng' hehe)..hehe.. sLam buy us dinner last nite.. (me, z and pacat).. i have to meet him course i've promised to test out his d90 (strong reason ka?..wakakka)... no lah.. i've to meet him because he's my best buddy lor.. even my mom n aunts knew him.. so it's kinda safe to go anywhere with him after this..hahaha.. (oh.. mak.. slam kem salam..)

i met cik na already.. slam..z.. bentayan degil + don firdaus (not in the plan... but thanx guys for the tips...huhu)... who else ya....(rewinding memories... scanning..scanning...) oh ya.. went to gurl's to visit her and he kids.. they are growing fast.. the last time i visit them irfan is like a new born who knows nothing... now? irfan is so chomey running here and there... climbing the chairs etc.... hehe.... who else did i met ya..oh no.. that's all.. itu saje yang sudi jumpa aku kah? haha.. (oh shoot.. i forgot to meet aisha asmir & mamat sh4rp...adoi abis lah jd bahan..)

now u know why did i always in KL? i've friends there lor.. next holiday i'm planning for ... where else Penang + utara lor... my fave place..huhu.. have my northern brothers there...

Heading back to Muar, johor, saTurday 6 am in the morning...planning to change the car then heading to Kempas, johor for our parent's cousin wedding at first.. un fortunately my car battery was totally kong maa.. (can't even unlock the alarm..) we have to do what we have to do first lah.. need to change battery with pacat's car to start the engine.. went to workshop to changed pacat's fused since my very clever cousin, jeman suddah salah pasang cable battery maa.. then we heading to pagoh to park pacat's car at our uncle's house and drive fast & furiously (i'm driving lah) to kempas.. by the time we arrived at pagoh.. the other group was like already in machap area... we are about 20-30 minutes behind them.. but we managed to catch them up at kempas higway exit (of course they need to wait a little bit lah... not more than 15 minute i guess..enough for their w.c stop..huhu)

the next day i need to pick mum up at malacca and went back home.. Muar - Rengit was only about 2 and a half hours journey but i need to stop twice one for fuel stop and the 2nd one was for refreshment.. i was too sleepy to drive but i need to drive since mom was surrender from driving already.. she had a very long journey from bukit tinggi - Dumai and she need her rest.. (macam lah mak nk drive my car..ceh).. the main reason that we have to get back home that night was because both of us were working on monday..wakakakak... Letih oOOoo..

Don Firdaus - Thanx for The eDiting tips

HusnY 'BenTayan' Rizal - Thanx sebab ajak lpak2..huhu


Gurl's Precious... [Imran, sYarmin & iRfan]


Cik Puan ZaYana ZahiRa Isa


En KamaRuL 'SLamDunk' ShahiR Karim..


On the way To Gurl's place..


I'm in such a hurry.. Diorg sebuk2 nak amek gambar..huh


The Cam wHorers cousin... huhu


slam witH His D NooTY [eh tu ayie nyer..hehe]

A pReGger need Lots oF Folic Acid Lor..

p/s: sorry u have to read my rambling..huhu

HeadaChe oh heaDacHe..!!~

Responding to Miss ClueLess FiLa's bLog...!!~



weird huh??
they said coffee & migraine Can't get along..
but why did this article stated that coffee (dust) + lime can cure headache?
it taste good too..
even korean lurve this drink..(seen in korean movie lor..huhu)

p/s: i get the wrong idea all this time... i've been drinking ice lime coffee everytime i got headache...(purposely actually since i don't drink hot beverages..hoho)
plus i replace the lime with 'limau kasturi'..huhu

aKoE seDeY..!!~

don't know why..
out of nowhere i'm a little bit sad lately.. i guess...
my heart is crying out.... the tears try to get out but i prevent it so hard from falling ..
the expression are unpredictable..
one minute i came out with a happy face....
one minute later i was like eating 100Kg of tamarind...
another minute i was like no emotion...
don't know what am I thinking but i'm sure i don't like those feeling...
feel like crying but forcing myself not to...
kinda tired from having those feeling.. it makes me looks stupid...
give me haedache that force me to take paracetamol to reduce it....
but still i don't know what to do..

what would u do when u have to wait??

Answer??

CamwHorinG lah.. what else do u expect when u only have ur HP and ur camera with u... no books or magz to be read maa....huhu

wondering what i'm waiting for...?

This is what i'm waiting at... (Lama giler nk berlepas..)

why??

This is why... mummy is leaving us for the whole week!!~ :'(

WheRE?

THere.. but not jusT there... she's going to PadanG...

With whoM?

Them... minus those 2 young lady in bLack... (they just lurve interframing..huhu)

and This me and MoM...

i knew it... i wasn't meant to be a typist!!~

seen this TesT on CLueLessBaby's bLog

the result??

33 perkataan

Speedtest

no.. I'm not a sHopahoLic but....

I'm not a shopaholic..
i don't go to the mall shopping for clothes, shoes etc..
i don't go hunt for expensives food...
i don't go to Evita Peroni or whatever the accesories shop called...
but...

last two days i spent over RM700 for about 2 hours for this.....



I Told you i'm not a shopaholic.. didn't I??


*i don't even need the modulator... but still.. can't resist of having it...wakakaka

*cleaning set? to replace the one being 'rocket' by that stupid person who broke into my car... my munchkin is full with dust since that...

*Contact lens? i forgot to change my CL case... the one i used was not tight enough..result? kering lor... i need CL for outing to avoid having a 'spec' on u without really wearing it..huhu

*MP160 catridge... nobody in this house seem to care either the printer got ink or not..ceh..

*the most important stuff i bought was that maxtor 500G 2.5" external harddisk.. i too lazy to burn my pix into dvd.. so external HDD is the best solution maa..akekeke


p/s:
if u realized.. there's no magazines this time... usually i spent lots on reading stuff (though i haven't finished reading the last issue yet..huhu)..wanna know why?? because my wallet are out of cash...haha.. owh.. i forgot to buy wallet n shoes.. the reason i went to the mall...sh*T...!!~

p/p/s: i watched Terminator Salvation... alone (-_-') .. there's no more bff by ur side to hang out lor... so sad huh?? nevermind that.. joHn Connor is so cooL lah..akekkeke

BenChinTa bY FaizaL Tahir !!~

Out of no where aku teringat kan lagu ni.. yes.. memang aku tengah saket skang ni (i never confess..and never admit this before..).. and this song is something to desribe me right now..i guess... wakakaka sangat tidak boley blah punya statement....mwhahahaha


Benarkan ku 'tuk berbicara...
Bicara terus ke hati mu.. Hati mu..
Hati yang penuh rasa ragu
Jangan terus pergi
Tanpa mendengar ku
Mungkin mudah
Untuk kau terus berlalu
Nanti dulu
Berikanlah waktu
Untuk aku, untuk kamu

Ingatkah lagi waktu kau bersama ku
Kaku aku melihat mu
Lidah kelu sedangkan aku
Mahu kau tahu
Aku cinta pada mu
Benci pada mu
Cinta pada mu

Ke tepi lihat ku berlalu
Pasti itu yang terbaik untuk ku
Tiada lagi mahu ku tahu
Tentang hidup kamu
Tentang mati kamu
Aku tahu
Engkau tahu apa yang mata ku tahu
Apa yang kau tunggu
Mahu aku buka pintu?

Ingatkah lagi waktu kau bersama ku
Kaku aku melihat mu
Sedang aku mahu kau tahu
Dengar kata ku
Aku cinta pada mu
Benci pada mu
Cinta pada mu

Sakitnya aku
Membenci kamu
Sakit lagi mencintai mu
Dan aku pergi
Tapi kembali
Benci aku mencintai diri mu
Ku benci... Kamu
Ku cinta... Kamu



p/s:
wish all of these is just a dream...
hoping that i'll be back being myself.. (being free and happy)
wish that i can smile again.. even when i'm alone in my room... (missed that moment.. )
if only i could wake up in the morning realising that it was JuLy lasT year... (promised i won't messed up again... )

all apologies goes to anyone that had been hurt..or about to be hurt...
bare in mind...i'm hurting too.. huh..


haha sangat emo...!!~ x bley blah (^_*)

oLD BuddY Vs FLicKR BuddY..!!!~

today was quite stressful to me..
though it is the last day of school before a 2 weeks holiday..

early in the morn my GPK ask me to write a report on a bowling tournament.. (a job that supposed to be done a month ago u ask me to do it on my last day working??? ... u're sucks dude..)

then after the 'before holiday meeting' the PE chief with his bestest smile and sweet spoken ask me to help him to settle up some data entry that had to be hand over on May 30th ...which mean tomorrow?? huh... dream off ... i told him that i'm going back to muar this evening and i won't be back untill next monday (june 8th i meant)... i tought i'll be escaped from that assignment.. hell not.. damn.. he ask the GPK KOKO permission to send it next week...huh... it's not like i'm trying not to do my job over here.. but it's really not my job.. not even supposed to be my business either... i'm not one of the 'panitia PJ' members...he just lurve to use my weakness (yes i hardly refuse to accept any job given) to escape from doing all the data entry..cet... the result?? i need to bring that bunch of 'data mentah' everywhere i go now!!~

i thought i could live my holiday peacefully ..without any job..assignment... etc.. but i was wrong.. besides those PE assignment.. i need to teach a science class for standard 6 students on june 8th.. then i need to prepare a programme book for a DUN programme.... adoi hai...

i could never have a peaceful holiday...uwaaaaa :'(

p/s:
who said being a teacher is enjoyable?? have lots of holidays?? working half day only?? (yes the officially working hour is between 7.00 am to 1.10 pm but the work u have to bring home is like working 24 hours a day dude...!!!~ even in sleep u'll be thinking the job that haven't finished yet..huhu) + we works on Saturday too!!~


owh.. off topic lah pulak..
back to the original topic..

every flickr members know i lurve outdoor outing.. everyone knows i'm going to genting this june 20th with the Butik Tee member for a day outing.. i even confirm my attendance...
but today.. with all the guts i get.. i'm telling everybody that i can't make it.. why??

i recieved an sms this evening asking me either i'll be on my friend wedding.. (i should say my bff i think..erm..being bestfriends since industrial training at the zoo).. it was from anep.. cut it short... i'll retype the sms...

anep : siga saga! siga saga!

me : oi! oi! oi! (common respond for siga saga!...hehe)

anep : ko pe x chee kawen bln dpan?

me : Bulan depan eh? june? brapa hb?

anep : 20 jun kot.. gua jd pengapit doh..

me : 20 june??? alemak.. aku ade program lah... ade outing kt genting.. da 2 bln nyer plan...

anep : xde xde ... chee kawen babe.. chee tau...!!!~

me : -no reply- thinking... and more thinking.....

then i send a sms to chee
me : chee... ko nikah 20 june ke babes?

chee : -lambat reply-


i can't wait for his reply.. so i called
me : uit babes ko nyer wedding 20 june ke?

chee : haah.. nikah 20 .. sanding 21.. mox smua trun tau..

me : tau.. dia bgtau jd pengapit.. ko ni.. aritu aku tanya ko xmo bgtau date.. aku da ade programme tu 20 jun tu.. ade outing kt genting.. da 2 bln plan babes..

chee : ngan family ke?

me : no lah.. ngan member2 flickr.. photography...

chee : ye lah boy..aku ingat nak buat surprised... x tau lah pulak skarang member busy dgn photography...ye lah ... kawan2 baru lebey penting dr kawan2 lama.. (damn.. dia suddah buka ayat merajuks..huhu) u choose new friend over old friend...

me : -take a deep breath- adoi hai.. dah dah diam.. ok aku pergi.. diorang overnite ke babes? ada place utk overnite x? jauh tu nk berulang..

chee : umah aku for my family .. but i've prepare place utk kawan2... mcm tu lah boy.. hehe

me : oklah aku overnite gak... adoi.. kna gak aku g kl beli jiwa kawan2 time cuti ni..huh.. abis lah
aku kena kutuk..akeke..k lah.. aku g.. chiow..

chee : ok.


then i get back to anep
me : ok aku trun...

anep : cara..cara..

it's a tough decission to make when u have to choose between friends... but this time i've chose old buddy over Flickr buddy.. i'm sorry guys (eshazli especially)... me and them ..we'd been friends since 2002.. and as mike said.. "xpe lah.. outing hari2 kawen skali je" huhu...


p/s: to all my friends.. lurve u guys...
for me once a friend forever a friend... unless u hated me so much and didn't wanna be my friends anymore...huhu

Teringat zaman dolu-dolu with them....
Palm CiveT post mortem... my Fave acTivities...

Penguin Post Mortem
Me and rest of the cLan... (so unbalanced.. who took this pic ya??)

oPPpsSsS ter Go PubLic plak...!!

Adoi ter Go Public lah plaK...bley lak ter mention abit this blog on my FLicKr....wakakaka...siLLy mE!!~




This entry duplicated from my FlickR

lately i've been thinking that i really wanted to start blogging again...

i'd been blogging since friendster introduced their service a(lama kan? huhu)...then i went for blogspot to express "the art in me" (it's mean a private blog.. open for my bff only.. my aunt and cousin are friendstering so i need to cabut from fster blogging..huhu)... playing with lights and colours with my munchkin avoiding me from spending my time blogging.. (been too busy getting to know my munchkin but still x reti-reti jugak guna..haha)

lately.. i trying to get use to the keyboard (i meant practising my typing skill lor..)..and i start posting on my personal blog (not the official brattography.getokubi.com one lah... that one need more concentration and fact..huhu).. and Yes.. i'm blogging agian..!!~

reason??

1. i'm tired of seeing lots of light and colours!!~
2. i've to distract myself to something that will keep me busy from thinking...
3. i've no one to hang out with me on weekend since dwi 'bawa diri' to sarawak... (it's not like i
don't wanna u to go babes.. it just i don't wanna to be left alone here :'( .... and z are too busy to ' balek kg' lately)
4. i started to read blogs again... (d*mN people nowadays are quite creative in expressing thing
in their mind).. so i feel like blogging again..huhu
5. I get creative when i go 'jiwa kacau' ... i need to express it since no one there anymore to be
my shoulder to cry...wakakaka
6. Shutter Count: 50463 + another coulpe of hundreds (aiyo.. suddah lebey sparuh maa.. need
to be prepare for a new hobby...wakakaka)

oh gosh.. i told u i need to start blogging...
see...?? i'm blogging on my flickr...hahah

Responding to my dear cik BeskaLpanciT blog dan mereka-mereka yang berjiwa kacau...

hati telah lama mati…
jiwa telah lama sembunyi..
knapa perlu datang kembali…
membawa sebuah fantasi…
jika benar itu realiti..
permudahkanlah jalan ini..
jika itu hanya mimpi..
matikanlah rasa ini…

-from the blurry mind of bRaT-
11.07 am, May 25th 09

Dugaan & CabaRan..!~

Reading a blog belong to a friend of mine force me to write this....
nothing important .. it's just came across my mind...


sometimes Life it just not fair..
x berjalan seperti yang kita rancang...
but that's life..
full of 'dugaan and cabaran'...
apa yang kita x mahu kadang2 itu yang kita dapat..
though people thought that itu sangat2 x bagus.. kejam.. jahat or what so ever..
tp buat mereka yang mengalami nyer? (bukan semua dr mereka itu lah..)
itu bukan kehendak mereka..
itu ujian dari Yang Esa...
apa yang kita cuba utk elak tu kadang2 itu yang kita dapat..
yang jd ujian utk kita..
walau kita rasa kita bukan lah jahat mana...
dalam x sedar.. rupa-rupa nya kita pun sama macam mereka yang di anggap jahat..jalang.. etc...
sedey kan?
kadang2 terfikir.. ntah macam mana kita pun boley mengalami keadaan seperti mereka yang kita kutuk sebelum ni...
tapi itulah dugaan & cabaran kehidupan...

kita tgk org.. kita kata orang... last2 kita yang jd macam diorg..
bak kaat pepatah baru skang ni "jangan mengata orang...Tuhan Bayar cash skang ni.."


p/s: aku da start merapu semula... that's a good thing.. guess i'm back being myself.. wakakakaka

p/p/s: Thanx to Miss Beskal pancit... tetiba ade idea lak nak merapu lpas baca blog kw..aekkeke



-regards-
bRaT

i wanted to say this... but.....

i wanted to say this "yes i'm back blogging" but " i'm afraid i won't have enough time to write"....

i wanted to say this "i miss blogging.." but "i never tried to spent time blogging..huhu"...

i wanted to say this "i promised i'll never leave my blog again" but "i'm afraid promise is just a promise..hehe"...

aRgHhHh malas ah nak cakap apa-apa... i'll write if i feel like writing.. otherwise i'll keep silent spending my time on flickr je... huhu

force myself to write...

i wonder where did all my interest in blogging gone?

i have no ideas in what to write lately...

i didn't know why but i guess it's have to be something about this this slow internet connection... or is it got anything to do with my passion in photography? hehehe i really have no ideas...

what did i know is ..my vocabulary is getting faded ..my words are getting so not interested to be read...wakakkaka

damn...!!~

Well enough said..

this is for u...

puiSi HaTi

oTak terkunci...
emosi memakan diri...
hati pedih menghantui ..
ego tumpas lagi..
bila ia pergi tetap cuba berdiri...
membalut luka dengan besi...
hampir sedekad besi menghuni..
lebur persis larva gunung berapi..
sia-sia menepis kanan dan kiri...
yang datang lebih menguji..
perit itu datang lagi...
kali ini lebih menyakiti...
tapi kenapa masih berani..?
mengadai kewarasan diri...
hingga akal dan hati tidak selari...


"ku petik guitar walau tidak bernada..
membujuk hati yang semakin mati...
Memohon dari Illahi..
supaya terbuka mata hati...smuga Tabah menghadapi..."

muakakakakkakakaka..... aku hilang dalam mimpi !~

-bornraisedntrap-
-1200am, 23 jan 09-

*********************************************

-={Gerhana Skacinta ft. Altimet Teh Tarik Crew - Joe Blid - Love}=-

love, love will fill your heart
love will break your heart
love will heal you broken heart

what's love??love is what make the world go round
love can lift you up, it can tear you down
love is a sweetest joy, the deepest pain
love id effortless, needs work to maintain
love can make you stupid, luv can turn you dumb
make you forget where you at, where you come from
love it's a many splendid thing
love can be forever or just be a fling
love can began with a smile
love between a mother and her child
between siblings, love between friends
the power to heal hearts, to make amends
love filled with laughter, end in tears
fear can stop your love, love can stop your fears
love the one above, make you stand tall
one love, it's all love, love one, love all

oh berombak lagi, oh kisah dunia
cerah jiwa gemuruh bergelora
erti sebenar dunia sementara
berlari kau ke sini dan ke sana
berlari mencari nur kasih hatimu yang telah lama
kau pejam hinggakan sesat dirimu
tiada sangsi dalam diri bertikam dengan cinta gila
semuanya hasutan sementara
berubahlah jiwa ribut dunia
melanda semua hakikatnya lorong berbeza
cinta ku mungkinlah oh!! beribu, yang tetap hanyalah satu

bLoGginG bLogGeRs!!~

adeh.. lama tol aku ilang mood nk blogging..
don't why cuma seru tu xde utk merapu..hehe..
latest news aku skang tersadai di bukit beruntung after sminggu meloloskan diri dari rumah beralamat no. 18, Batu 22 Sungai Kluang, 83100 Rengit, Batu Pahat, Johor..
last week my aunt call ajak p penang.. so on friday 21 November tengah hari aku da drove to muar p umah mak mah aku tuh.. lpak kjap around 6pm drove to KL dgn Unser dia to pick her daughter up... then singgah umah cousin aq, akak kat Tmn Mulia Jaya, Ampang pastu overnite kt umah another cousin at area Tasik Ampang.. tdur pn 2 jam jer... mlm tu my cousin,uda ajak p downtown, cheras... ntah apa dia cari ntah.. balek jam 4.. tdur sat then jam 6++ cousin2 aq da sebuk nk p keje.. da x bley tdur..adeh..

before tghari kami bergerak lak ke ipoh.. pick my cousin, pacat punya boyfriend to join us..(kna jadi driver full time si azman ni..wakakak).. dari ipoh trus gerak ke penang.. malang nyer almost smua hotel fully booked.. last2 dapat hotel cikai giler lah... adeh.. nyesal x book awal.. ni smua gara2 plan mengejut mak mah aq ler ni...mlm p jln2 cari mkn around penang road.. btol punya jalan kaki maa... smua sbb nk cari malay dine in sbb mak mah aq x makan kt mamak's... lpas makan patutnye aku p lpak ngan my buddies pon n maruwan.. tp ade skit miscommunication 2-2 belah pihak tunggu masing2 call ..last2 smua tertdur..

pagi ahad tu engat nk gamble je jalan2.. pusing2 sesat lor.... x tau nk p mana.. x tau jalan pun...
sib baik slam call kata dia kt umah pon.. last2 pon n maruwan p amek kitorg guide jalan..
dapat p butterfly farm je pun.. coz mak mah nk g shopping jeruk kt chow rasta ke apa ntah nama tempatnye... lpas shopping... lpak kt padang kota pekena pasembur n prawn mee penang style... tak lupa gak my fave char kue teaw.. x bley thn babe.. kunun nk share ngan pon char kue teaw n mee udang.. last2 order 2nd char kue teaw for myself..wakakaka... pastu trus trus gerak balik ke tambun.. overnite kt sana lak.. (sian mak mah aku x dpt bawak family dia jalan2 sgt sbb aku pn xtau tempat..wakakaka.. lg pn penang hill nye cable car tutup ..engat nk bawak cousin2 yg kechek2 tu p sana..huhu)..

kt Tambun stay at sunway city.. sewa rumah rm250/day.. umah Sarjan Mejar si Azman .. so suka2 hati nk check in n check out jam brapa...mlm tu tdur spanjang hari sbb letih... pepagi buta lak cousin2 yg kechik2 tu da buat pesta air lak... bising giler ajak p lost world of tambun sbb x puas mandi swimming pool.. dengan mata dan hati yang berat setelah di serbu 3-4 kali oleh bdk2 tu, aku pun bgn ah.. mandi dan follow diorg p sana... yg x best nyer aku bkn mandi pun.. jadi tukang jaga bag n amek gambau jer... buhsan tol.. sempat ler online sampai batery notebook n hp flat giler smentara tunggu diorg abis mandi... hehe.. mak mah n cik razak aku lak bergilir call ptg tu ajak balik... depa kata "oi.. da jumpa air x engat nak balik ke?"... patut pun dia suh aku nk anak dia je bawak anak2 dia yg kecik2 tu.,. rupa nyer dia nk cover tdur.. ampeh.. pastu sempat g shopping lak tu... aku je tersadai kt lost world of tambun duk perati org main air... x adil btol...heheh... ptg tu dalam jam 4-5 ntah baru ah gerak p bukit beruntung lak... singgah umah mak ya aku lah.. bujet nk overnite je kt sini... rupa2 nya dia rachun aku stay sini jaga anak2 dia sbb dia nk p vietnam... ceh..

dan dari isnin lpas sampai ler today aku masih disini.. melepak.. mengopakkan akaun bank aku sendri... sempat ler jugak p cuchi mata... cuchi poket... siap kna pow top-up ari2 lak tuh.. bijak tol si abg n adik ni.. ajak p zoo negara bg beruang makan... tapi everything aku yg bayau... bijak tahap gaban tol bdk2 ni..wkakaak... pastu da pnat ajak lpak mid valley lak.. smpat gak ah aku bli rachun 50mm f1.8 idaman kalbu kt trillion mid valley ni ha..bli diffuser sb600 n 2 52mm uv filter utk hubby aku ni ha...kopak jugak lah... blum bli spek n btol keta lg ni..heheh

last saturday lak aku p runda-runda usj ngan si pacat.. g umah gurl kjap then crush kt umah akak at ampang.. ahad pg jumpa ct at usj smula cause tumpang dia p umah kawan kami si aliyes nyer wedding at bahau.. balek singgah minum kt ulu bendul sat ..engat nk try lens 50mm aku tu.. tp batuk aku mengganggu lak.. giler babas nyer teruk aku batuk2 kt sana... tahap nk tercabut jantung nyer..wakakaka... dr ulu bendul.. antar nanu kt senawang then trus drive ke usj smula.. singgah umah ct refreshing then hang out kt oldtown dinner kt sana... tetiba 9.30 tringat nk follow cik man aku p amek makya kt LCCT... apa lagi berdessup ah dr usj ke bkt beruntung... aku da x larat nk bukak mata dah.. si pacat lak ajak follow skali.. on the way ke LCCT aku buat concert dengkur ngan abg n adik.. heheh.. sdar2 je da nk sampai LCCT..wakakaka.. kna plak flight mak ya delay lak.. melepak ah dpn mcD tu dkat sjam gak ah... balek trus ngorok x sdar diri... sampai overslept ah pg td..heheh

adeh.. ade lagi 3 ari aku kt sini... dgn kesihatan yg sgt teruk aku rasa nk balik umah je ni.. tp x larat nk balik naek bus ler... teruk batuk aku ni.. adesh.....

cRy me a River???!!~

i'll cry for myself...
not for u...
not for somebody else...

i'll hide my sadness..
not for sympathy..
not for empathy...

i'll hold to ur promise..
to be there..
just for me...

akoe benci kamoe.!!~

ku... sendirian..
ku... sedey lagi..
ku... patah hati..
ku... sakit lagi...

kau... mana pergi..
kau... hilang lagi..
kau... mana lari..
kau... pergi mati...!!~

ku... benci kamoe...
ku... tlah buang mu...
ku... benci akoe...
ku... masih rendumu...

buhsan kah kau.. pada akoe..
bencikah ... dirimu...
gantung ku... tanpa tali...
biarku... sakit sendri...

oh chenta ku... mana pergi
oh renduku... kau hilang lagi..
kau... mana lari...
kau... pergi mati..!!~

pergi .. dari sini...
akoe... benci kamoe!!~

it's holiday season..!!~

november is coming up.. which mean the school holiday is coming up..
which mean it's time for me and some friends start thinking and searching places where we're going to spend our holiday at..

since i already sign up to be a member of celebrity vvip discount card, we shouldn't have to worry about hotel rate anymore..infact there's lots and lots of budget hotel we could surf around the net.. with just one click we're ready to go..

oTak ku ceLaRu!!~

aku x paham r... napa bila tua mesti akan berlaku disfungsi emosi? dlu prof endokrinology aku ade gak sebut.. "bila lelaki makin tua, garang dia makin hilang kerna hormon testosteron mereka semakin menurun...dan bila wanita smakin berusia mereka akan menjadi semakin garang..dan emotional kerna penurunan hormon estrogen" ...eh estrogem ke progestrone? alamk lupa r plak..turun ke naek? adus...salah fakta jugak ni karang....tapi isi pentingnya... tua kah aku bila emosi smakin x stabil mcm ni? hahaha... gilak ah...

dlu xde pun prasaan yg pelik2 mcm ni... semua nyer santai je.. rock habis r time tuh.. xde fikir benda2 yg remeh temeh mcm ni... org sibuk layan jiwa2 aku sibuk layan rock n roll.... haha.. tp la ni bru aku tau betapa sukar nye jd seperti mereka... silap nye aku terlewat merasa kesulitan tu sampai kan rasa mcm bangang giler r ms mula2 dlu.... diorg plak skang sedang bersenang2 sambil melihat kekalutan aku..ceh...tapi xpe aku tau aku boleh survive walau apa pun yg di suratkan oleh-Nya... cuma along the way ramai lah yg terpaksa aku susah kan..hehe..sorry..!

skang ni lg lah hormon aku mengalami kejutan elektrik bila mak mula tanya pasal kawen smula ni... aritu ingat da stop da soalan2 menyengat mcm ni..otak aku ligat cari alasan nak ngelak.. tp semua alasan aku da guna...mana ntah nak cekau lg... kalau mak aku je tanya xpe gak.. ni bkn je mak aku.. makcik2 pakcik2.kwn2...even adik2 aku pun da start menganjing2 nih.. adus...pantang mak aku bukak topik..mula r diorg..cit...sampai aku tanya nak kirim apa time aku p mana2 adik aku leh reply sms "kirim abg ipar satu"..bengong x??? bangkai tol...teringat dulu...adik lelaki yg ke empat aku pernah berkata masa dia mintak duit tp aku mls nak bg time tu .." alah ko ni..esok ko x kawen aku jugak yg jaga ko"...haha sampai mcm tu skali beb penghinaan yg aku dapat beb.. cam barua ayat dia... tp aku x kesah.. dia tu dlu masa bersalin terbelit uri mak aku kata.. so pemikiran dia sgt straight..stok xde fikir perasaan org lah beb..adushHhh...kalau yg no 2 plak sopan skit ayat dia kalau nak pow gaji aku... "ulur2 lah..da kering ni.. kang ko kawen aku jugak yg potong daging"....aku rasa nak silambam je adik2 aku ni... nasib baik yg no3 dan bungsu tu x byk suara ..kalau tak mau aku pindah umah..muakakak..

gilak ah.. da brapa thn ntah blog2 aku ni berkisar pasal kawen.. ni.. apa ntah nak jadi dgn org2 keliling ni... diorg x fikir ke aku ni mcmne? aduss...patut pun dlu pakcik aku sampai tidur dlm kereta kalau kitorg sebut pasal kawen.. la ni baru kna batang idung sendiri..kedegang!!!~..paling bengang bila kisah 10 thn dlu pun keluar balik bila aku x kawen2 lg ni... hina sgt ke x kawen ni? makcik aku pn da 40+ thn x kawen lg...cousin aku yg 30+ pn x kawen lg gak..blaja jauh2 sampai london pn x kawen2 gak..fizikal ok...rilex2 je...tp ni semua belah abah aku nye cerita lah.. belah mak aku smua kawen awal...paling lewat pun 31 thn ..bru je kawen last may..itupun sbb bekas tunang dia dlu meninggal..kira frust r tuh...nak di ikutkan aku masih dalam keadaan selamat lah.. tp mak aku kata " ko nak masuk kelab ke?"..kelab org x kawen...hehe... pernah aku bg cadangan kt mak aku "mak, mak nak cucu kan.. apa kata org amek anak angkat bela.?" ..melenting mak aku... ms tu umur aku 26 thn kot...dia kata.."x payah nak berangan..kawen .. buat anak sendiri!!~' muakakaka....sian mak aku...dlu ingat umur 28 x kawen lg nak further study..ni da nak masuk 29 da ni.. duit pun x kumpul lg utk further study..muakakaka....kalau kawen lambat potensi utk dapat anak yg sempurna tu tergugat sudah.. mcmne ek? hehehe... aku rasa aku takut sbetolnye ni..bukan nye apa... takut nak berubah..hahaha...tambah pulak self esteem aku mmg rendah tahap gaban dr dulu lg...nak wat camne..huhuhu....

whatever lah!!~ yg penting aku haPPy!!!~



tp...


-happy kah aku?!!!~-
erk!!~



-aku yg slalu emo-
muakakakakakka
gila ah ding dong...

p/s: buduh rasanya jd mcm ni...nasib baek masih ade zati n dewi yg mengalami masalah yg sama utk share story..hahahah

SimPLe QuEsTioN .. ComPLicaTeD anSweR!!~

kelmarin aku dapat satu soalan nih via phone...tengah sembang2 tetiba dia kata "sayang kita tak?" aku ingat aku salah dengar...3-4 kali gak aku tanya "ha..! apa?" sampai dia ulang perlahan2...aku cuma mampu kata "alamak...! susah nyer nak jawab"...last2 dia kata "senang je nak jawab..ye atau x..kalau saya..kalau sy suka sy ckp ye kalau x ckp x lah.."..aku x mampu cakap apa2 lagi...jenuh jugak lah aku putar belit alam...mcm nak migrain aku menepis di sana sini... masalah nyer bru je knal..tu pun via phne.. jumpa pn x ..stakat mms pic je..

gila btol r dia tu.. x knal aku sudah bg soalan yg sukar di jawab...kalau sudah knal mau dia cabut x cukup tanah..hahah...sian dia.. org yg knal lama dgn aku pun blum ade yg brani bg soalan mcm tuh..hahah..tapi apa pun aku tetap appreciate friendship yg dia hulur kan... kalau kami da knal lama mungkin akan ku consider juga menjawab soalan tu..tp skarang ni mungkin emosi aku dalam keadaan kucar kacir.. dan dalam usaha membaik pulih sistem kekebalan nye seperti 7-8 thn dulu.. skarang ni dinding besi liver aku tu dah karat.. hampir2 bocor bila feso4 memenuhi setiap ruang...tapi nasib baek r bila aku mula nak lupa diri..ade smangat yg tarik aku kembali ke alam nyata..muakakaka..memalukan sungguh!!~ hilang rock aku..hilang ego aku..mcm mana ntah aku leh terlalai sekejap...malu sunggu aku dgn diri aku..apa lg dgn "subjek" yg berjaya menghakis besi2 tu.. gila ah..serius beb malu giler... sbb tu i'm trying to hold back...tp...kdg2 terlepas jugak.. aku pun insan biasa gak..

silap aku gak...mata kadang2 tersalah lihat... telinga kdg2 tersalah mendengar... mulut kdg2 tersalah bicara...hati kadang2 tersalah duga...otak kdg2 tersalah tafsir...apa lah nak jadi ye....bodoh lg hina sungguh rasanya...





-aku cuba menjadi aku yg dulu....!!!-
.........mampukah aku???!!~............

9.03pm/jun 26th 08/my heavenly room!!~

SchooL Break???

uwaa..!!~ cuti da abis...

pergh x syok r... x puas dok lepak2 sambil abiskan gaji tanpa keje...
kejap je da abis...
gaji aku pun da abis maa wat pi ronggeng rokiah...
budget ade r 2-3 place nak p..tapi last2 destinasi kelam kabut aku je yg jd..yang lain hampeh...ni semua gara2 banjir beb...perghh bengang beb..

tapi xpe ..budget chinese new year ni nak p ronggeng lagi.. just wait and see mana aku p nnt..ke x p..? erk..!!~

sometimes...everytime!!~

everytime i think of myself i found that i'm still didn't have any ideas in which direction my life is heading..

sometimes i think i'm ready to begin a new life...
sometimes i think i'm just not that ready yet...
sometimes i think i need an inspiration...
sometimes i think my inspiration is my journey on life and friends...
sometimes i think sharing life would be interesting...
sometimes i think sharing life would be difficult..

sometimes i think it would be great to find someone to share a life myself...

sometimes i think i wouldn't be able to find my companian by my own..

sometimes i think it would be easy to say "ok mom, go ahead..i'll be ready to accept anyone u choose"
sometimes i think i'm just giving excuses because i'm afraid to change...
sometimes i think my heart scream "oh freak..don't ask me..just go ahead and do your thing!!~" i'll be a good daughter of yours...
sometimes i think " oh no...not again.. i need someone with the same interest mom!!~"

but everytime i keep thinking my mind got stuck somewhere between my medula oblongata or serebrum or whatever...!!~

confusion strike back!!~

kadang-kadang kita terlalu bangga dengan diri kita..
kadang-kadang kita lupa yang kita hanyalah kita..
kadang-kadang kita tidak perlu berpura-pura..
kadang-kadang kita harus berusaha...

tapi itulah kita...hanya menanti apa yang tak kujung tiba!!~

saHam oh saHam!!~

org slalu kata saham naik kalau ramai org ngorat..tapi ....kalau ramai org nak kenalkan kita pada org tu kira saham da nak expired ke atau baru nak matang? hehe...!!~

motor oh motor!!~

smalam setelah sekian lama aku tak naik motor sebagai pembonceng....aku lagi sanggup bawak motor sendiri dari jadik pembonceng.. maklum r..aku kan berat.. so benda yg aku paling takut ialah tukang bwk motor xleh control motor sebab ade pemberat yg sangat berat di belakang..huhuhu..

dulu time blaja ade 2 org yang slalu bonceng aku...sorang kurus kedengking dan tinggi...satu lagi sama saiz dengan aku... tapi dua-dua pun aku seram bila diorg bawak motor... ye r selama ni dok bawak JEQ kesayangan aku sendiri mana sama ngan dok jadik pembonceng!!~ kalau naik ngan yang kurus aku takut dia tak larat nak kontrol handle...ye r inersia dia tinggi tu..luas permukaan kecik..hehhe..

kalau naik yg sama saiz ngan aku tu lak..aku takut tayar scooter aku yg kecik tu geylong..hahahah...xpun kalau naik kris abg dia, aku takut lidi atau rim patah..huhuh...ade skali tu kitorg p tempat member kar bukit beruntung...on the way balik siap check tayar beb sebab aku bebel macam tayar geylong je spanjang perjalanan...hehehe... pnat giler dok atas motor dari bkt beruntung ke bangi sbagai pembonceng...kalau jd tukang bawak motor leh rehat2 kan kaki sket..bla dok blakang xde benda lain aku fikir kecuali..jgn lah jatuh motor ni!!~ hahaha...tu yg dok diam x gerak2..heheh

oh lupa sorang lagi tukang bonceng aku yg aku paling seram kalau jd pembonceng dia is my cousin erza...dlu sama2 bawak scooter..skang dia da belot macam aku gak..dia bawak wave dah.. kalau bawak motor..mak aih macam nak race kat litar..sampai aku yg besar gedabak kat blakang dia pun, dia leh amek lap...dah ar aku mmg x ske jd pembonceng... masa yg paling aku ske bila naik motor ngan dia ialah time turun motor..hahahah..stiap kali tu gak aku akan kata "huh..nasib bhaik sampai"..hehehe....aku lebey rela bawak motor sendiri dari bangi ke rengite daripada jd pembonceng dari pinggir bandar muar ke muar town kalau naik ngan dia ni..

rindu time jd rider dulu.. dengan duit rm 20 pun aku leh balik rengit dari bangi..kalau direct ade r dlm 4-5 jam..tapi aku ske singgah umah atok aku kat pagoh..so bangi-pagoh baru 2jam 30 minit kurang lebey...pagoh- rengit dalam 2 jjam lah gitu... tapi kalau blek saing member baik aku si dino yg naik rxz mesti xde singgah pagoh..tapi dia rehat kat RnR lama ske...tdia kata "engine aku 2 stroke bai..engine ko 4 stroke..leh rehat2 plak tu..bagi lah aku rehat lama sket"...hehe nasib baik mak aku yg soh balik saing dia mula2 dulu..kalau x sure aku balik sorang ..tapi yg aku bengang nyer kalau balik ngan dia..mesti dia dok bagi aku makan asap..pastu call kata "wey aku tunggu ko kat RnR"..mentang2 r skuter aku xleh laju..cheik..masa balik raya lagi seksa..sampai kitorg terputus hubungan..last2 terlepas tempat makan..punyalah jam jalan...hujan lebat giler lak tu...dari 5 hours journey da jd berhour-hour dah....aku kalau balik sorang rest isi fuel ngan p toilet trus gruk... lpas da beberapa kali balik berteman..aku balek sorang2 jer..nak tunggu dia dari um tu leceh gak..ye r kadang2 cuti x sama..bayang kan brapa kali aku dok ulang alik bangi-rengit tu selama 3 tahun... sempat lah jugak mengalami peristiwa yang menyedarkan aku betapa lemah nyer aku!!~ hahaha

kalau lah aku masih own that JEQ 3620 mesti aku masih seorang rider!!~ hahaha


p/s: setakut mana pun aku dengan pembonceng2 aku tu ..tapi i miss them all!!

naim..my kurus kedingking rider ...smuga success slalu..n slamat bertunang!!~

kamarul shahir a.k.a slam a.k.a slamdunk my sama saiz rider sama gak smuga success n happy slalu...eh satu lagi..smuga cepat kurus!!~ hahaha

and erza ...slamat bertunang..please think straight will ya...you're a big gurl now..even lebih matured dari aku though i'm 10 years elder than u...good luck with ur new life sis!!~

kepada bikers yang pernah bonceng aku p kuliah..p pasar malam p mana2 lah.. especially my GurLs wawa, ernie, anem, norza, che na, chee, zul, ollie, addie, zack shaymie, fizul (eh ko pernah bonceng aku ke fizul? xhengat lah) dan ramai lagi..thanx bro n sis..miss the time we had together!!~

kenapa ek!!~

lately life macam buhsan sangat... dah r serabut nak exam..people seems avoiding me...mungkin sebab otak yang serabut ni i've been thinking something yang x munasabah atau is it true people are getting bored dgn aku? well... i still did't get the answer though i've been asking around...

ini satu perangai aku yang buruk skit...aku mudah terasa...hehe.. slalu nyer i'll keep it to myself and pretend like nothing happen and try to make them smile for me..but lately macam i'm getting more sensitive than before...mungkin ke sebab i'm getting older and my progestron smakin menurun? huh hope i'll know...

ThUmB ViRuS!!~

aku rasa jari aku da kena virus lah!!~

lately jari aku da macam x gheti brenti dari sending message to this maxis number...i don't know why but dalam sehari tu mesti jari aku automatic p send sms kat no tu....aku memang jenis yang x gheti stop kalau da sms..tapi rasa nye mesti owner number tu rasa terganggu ngan sms aku...

bkn stakat sms ...ym pun mcm tu gak... da nampak id dia invisible tapi masih nak send msg...rasa nyer dia log in as invisible pun sebab malas nak layan aku kot...hahaha...

sms pun susah nak delivered..maybe dia sajer off bosan dgn my sms? who knows..hehehe

kenapalah aku ni xleh brenti sending sms ...apa lagi kalau aku da taruk actv5..hehe...kadang2 kesian gak ngan actv5 actv5 aku.mesti buhsan ngan aku...

skang ni the best way to do is to off my phone setiap kali aku rasa nak sms...tapi off pun kejap je... mana hp aku pernah off..hahaha...

aku slalu macam ni..kadang2 ngan dak murul member baik kat maktab aku pun aku sms x brenti..kna plak dia mmg mcm kau gak..hehe

virus kah ini??

atau am i getting weird and weirder??!! isk isk isk


p/s: kadang-kadang sampai 36 hours aku cuba x sms sebab takut org buhsan ngan aku tapi dia plak yg sms aku...so sampai bila nak brenti ek?

tapi bila x sms ghindu plak nak sms!! ye ke??

nOrZA oh NorThZA!~

she been my bestFriend since i first met her...masa tu kat kc..kitorg satu dorm time orientasi.. since that we've been stick together like glue.. masa tu ade gak e-ta then dtg pula ida, aida, atie, zura, siti, yana, erin and beberapa org yg jd bestfriend aku..

tapi ngan nortza ni aku mmg rapat lebey skit kot.. dia pernah dtg umah buruk aku n aku pun pernah lepak umah dia..kat terengganu..kat KL..umah abg dia..kakak dia semua aku da pg..sampai abg long dia pun knal n still ingat aku time dtg kawen dia kat kuala pilah aritu...
mak dia siap cium ak lagi..kak jo da mmg rapat ngan aku soh aku slalu lpak umah dia time blaja dulu...

it's so nice being in her family... tapi lately kami da jarang lpak sama2 coz she'd been married to her colleague and delivered a cute chubby babby boy named amar darwisy...but still aku pernah lpak umah yg diorg dok skang..tapi time tu before dia kawen..hehe

oh lupa...we even ronda-ronda with our scooter masa blaja dulu!!~ hehe


huh i miss the time we've been together!!~

kc 1999-2000
intensive 2000
upm/ukm 2000-2004
till date

aNoTheR You?!!

tengah post article td nortza my best buddy telefon... bising sgt background dia..

dia cuma kata "dengar x lagu ni"..

aku blur2 je..2-3 kali dia tanya ..aku terus "hah!!! another You!!~"

oh my... lagu favourite kitorg time kat kc..kalau lepak ngan oden atau sapa2 je mesti sruh dia bawak lagu ne.plugking dia memang best...

nortza kata "pertandingan kugiran antara pusat serenti..aku saje suruh bawak lagu ni..bla dengar teringat kat ko..ni yang aku telefon ni"

wah rindu nyert longkang jamming kat kc dulu...ramai pemain guitar favourite aku time tu..oden, punkjunk, abg edd,bob, adli, ajip, dik ann, joe, zaki, rais, eddie, al-walid hussien and ramai lah lagi...so srunuk...

lagu lain yang jd favourite kitorg selain another you are runaway by dell shannon, boo hoo clapping song by carburator dung, weezer butterfly, creep radiohead, ayam den lopeh ofcourse, butterfinger songs, bedroom window nice stupid playground, gadisku, cromox songs, nr nilam sari, pontianak, mat ganja

huh banyak lagi r...ade yang aku sempat record lagu2 ni masa lepak2 kat tepi longkang tu..sampai sekarang aku masih dgr lagu2 tu..siap taruk dalam keta lagi..dalam kaset tu ade ucapan kawan2 dan senior2 pada aku sebelum diorg blah...ada lagu yg dik ann, ajip, and oden nyanyi..kira suara diorg masih aku dgr sampai sekrang r..hehehe...maklum r aku kan pelik..semua nye pada aku ada sentimental value nyert...kalau korang dtg umah aku mesti orang pelik tgk aku masih simpn brg2 time kat kc dulu...hahaha

p/s: teringat time lepak ngan my bro oden kat lab masa dia visit kc..time tu dia dah abis kc dah.. he's been my advisor for quite some time..sampai skarang pun we still good friend..mizz hi so much!!~

mizz the time we lepak n playing guitar together!!~ (actually he play the guitar i'm just a listener.. hehehe)

tHe GiRLs oF mY LiFe!!~

the girls of my life!!~
this is a few girls in my big family!!~
this pic dated 24 dec 2006 at my uncle 'flood' wedding..
my beloved grandma between the pengantin..
my beloved mak sebelah pgantin lelaki..
my dearest youngest leia sitting in front (the biggest girl sitting at the front row)
my dearest ernie, akak, mok ogy, mak ya, aunties, uncles and cousin
me holding akak's crying daughter, nureen Khaireena (i'm the one who named this cute little chubby baby)

The Life of mY oWn!!~

Sometimes i feel like i am dying
sometimes i feel like i am the happiest human being
sometimes i just didn't know what's happening
sometimes i am afraid of everything
sometimes i hope there'd be an ending
sometimes i am dreaming having the life of my own

BeauTiFuL pHraSE!!~

cantik itu subjektif!!~
Beauty is to the eye of the behoLder!!~
kalau dah sayang huduh pun nampak cantik!!~
it's take two to do tango!!~

Birth is the start of life..
Beauty is the aRT of Life..
Mysteries and risks are part oF LiFe...
But YOU is The hEaRt of LiFE!!~

you never gonna change sweetie!!~
take care cutie!!
mizz ya sweet pea!!~

Life can be cruel..
But it can turn out to be the most memorable thing..
Life can be sweet but I could turn out to be most regretful…

Life is a science..
Everything happen for a reason..
Sometime life are without colour

It only true when u can eat shit..
Really..
People always appreciate beauty..
Rose over lalang..
Win over loose…
Success over failure

Beauty is to the eye of the beholder..
Looking trough microscope could be beauty or ugly depends.
Ugly is a art???
So why make ur life an art????!!!


-={to be continued}=-

SmiLe!!~

the best way to start a beautiful day is to wake up with a sincere smile..and end it up with a smile of something or someone who cheer ur life up that day...then u'll notice that u'll wake up with a smile the next day!!~

keep doing this on and on then u'll find what u're looking for all this time!!~

;-p~


p/s: i'm smiling every time my phone said 'message recieved'.. i don't know why but i't makes me smile!!~

what makes u smile??!!

UnRecoGnised Feeling!!???

lately i didn't recognise my own feeling..
am i happy?
am i sad?
am i dreaming?
am i afraid?
am i ready to move on?
am i confused?

i just don't know!!~

-={to be continued}=-

tito always got headache!!~

tito a.k.a ct come (dia yg taruk nama dia ct come kat phonebook aku dulu) ni kawan aku kat kc...dulu kami rapat lah jugak...dia ni sejak dulu memang jiwang FeSO4 gak lah... lpas dia blah dari ukm, lama giler aku x dpt contact dia...nasib baik ade no phone umah dia kat kg...dpt r aku contact dia smula...

dulu dia ni chubby tp cute giler...skang ni aku tgk gambar kat friendster dia..mak aih...kecut!!~ rupa2nya dia frust bercinta...sian kat dia...sampai skang asyik kecundang bercinta je...sampai kecut plak tu...harap2 dapat lah dia cari calon suami yang boleh bahagiakan dia...rasa-rasa lah kan kalau aku frust bercinta bleh kecut macam dia ke? muakakakaka....

apa pun aku tetap sayang dia!!~ she's one of my 'bestest' buddY!!~ sebab tu aku wish dia dapat apa yang terbaik untuk diri dia!!~ hehehe....


p/s: jangan frust sampai demam teruk lg ye!!~ karang kecut lg dah x cun...

rasa!!!?~

kenapa aku rasa lain nie?
kanapa aku rasa cam pelik je?
kenapa aku rasa x best?
kenapa aku rasa x tentu hala?
kenapa aku rasa kejap happy kejap blur?
kenapa aku rasa aku suka?
kenapa aku rasa aku rak tau apa aku rasa?
ade kah aku rasa aku dah.....
eh aku tak rasa macam tu lah....
apa yang aku rasa sekarang eh???!!~ -help-

p/s:
sebab apa yg aku rasa tu ke reason aku cuba avoiding something?
sebab apa yg aku rasa tu ke aku jd takut smula?
sebab apa yang aku rasa tu ke aku kurang mesra?
tapi apa yg aku rasa?

kenapa aku macam nie!!~

Kenape ek..lately aku rasa my brain xleh nak functioning well..bkn r nak kata aku sewel ke apa...tapi xleh nak cari mood utk post article yg ok sket...lately ni apa yg terlintas tu lah yg aku taip..tanpa aku fikir blik ayat tu btol ke x...tersusun ke tak..dah macam apa yg aku tulis dalam diari jer...it's just not me...otak aku macam kosong disebalik keserabutan yang amat sgt tu kot.. mungkin ke i lost something somewhere yang aku tak tau apa benda nyer...atau mungkin kah ade sesuatu yg neuron2 aku x dapat nak tafsir ...atau mungkin kah its just something yang xde dalam vocabulary minda aku yang x boleh terucap oleh aku...there's no words yg aku boleh describe what's happening to me rite now..
this situation pernah happen to me long time ago ...i thought i lost a piece of my largest organ of the abdomen sebab something yg sepatutnya x perlu utk aku regret kan...masa tu rasa serabut sgt.. everything mcm x kena..asyik dok diam je (pernah ke aku dok diam? pernah kot..hehe).. masa tu rasa macam "huh..i am a loser"...nasib baik ade kawan2 kat sekeliling yang help me get thru all those thing secara tak langsung...
tapi sekarang? sapa nak cheer me up...dah r dok kg..semua dok tempat lain..everyone seems so busy with their new life..sibuk dengan boyfriendlah..dengan suamilah...dengan pemuja rahsia lah...dengan anak2 lah...aku gak yang masih macam dulu...kadang-kadang rasa macam nak cabut je dr sini tapi...sapa nak tolong bayar rm70K agreement yg aku sign ngan kerajaan tu? dah r utang ptptn pun bru byr rm250 je...smalam one of my kawan baik sms aku..she said "sejujurnye yan, ade x ko rasa nak menjerit sebab sejak umur 7 thn sampai 27 thn berjiran dgn org yg sama"..what could i say? jawapn yg slalu aku guna untuk everything yg aku x pasti..."ok kot" tapi bkn aku je tau yg it's a lie..dia pun leh tau yg everything is a lie..kadang-kadang terasa mcm i'm not myself anymore...my life is all a hypocrisy...tapi kadang-kadang lah...selalu nye i'm still the old me..hehe..tp yg kadang-kadang tu yg menyesakkan aku...macam aku ni subject experimental orang lain untuk mencapai dream diorg...walau macam mana pun aku sayang kat orang-orang tu... sayang sangat...tu yg aku terpaksa ikut je..i live my life for them....walaupun half of me meredha kan tapi the other side of me memberontak trying to get out of there...
mujur lah dinding2 bilik aku penuh dgn gambar2 kengkawan yang menceriakan hidup aku sepanjang perjalanan hingga hari ni...at least bila lepak2 dalam bilik ...tgk dinding2 bilik terhibur jugak aku... cuma kadang2 rasa rindu giler yg melemaskan..heheh..i just lurve my room wall...semua teman2 rapat...lelaki..perempuan semua aku lekat kat dinding...sebab tu cara yg buat aku x lupa pd diorg...kadang-kadang terfikir...kenapa aku x boleh nak lepaskan masa silam aku ek? tp cuma terfikirlah...x pernah berusaha pn nak lepaskan...sebab tu sampai sekarang aku tetap mcm ni ...mungkin kah i'm afraid of rejection kot..afraid to explore new things? afraid to hurt my largest organ of the abdomen kot? ntah? aku pun kurang pasti... cuma yang aku pasti..jika ade sesuatu yg baru untuk aku..biarlah bukan aku yang memulakan...apa-apa pun yang baru!!~
eh kenapa dengan aku ni? huh!!~

p/s: my life is my parent largest television!!~

knapa aku rasa rindu ek..tapi aku tak tau aku rindu pada apa n pada siapa?sebab tu aku suka melari-larikan diri pada sesuatu yg baru...aku takut pada diri aku sendiri kot..takut pada salah tafsiran...takut pada sesuatu ketidakpastian...yang pasti aku takut lah....knapa ek?